Friday, October 12, 2012
I say it in my sidebar, I say it in person, and I do believe it. Easy friendships are a blessing.
When I say easy friendships, I mean the kind of friendships that remain in place when life gets busy. The friendship, that after months of not speaking, you can grab lunch and catch up. No one complains or pouts because someone forgot their birthday or didn't call when their youngest started kindergarten. You share the latest news, your upcoming plans, and make it a point to get together more often. Those are the friends that if I needed them....they would be here fully, but because I do not interact with them daily....I would be responsible to make my needs known. In the same way...I would be devastated if they needed me and I was unaware. Easy friendships are valuable and real and fulfill a need for us to share our lives with other women and know that we are cared for.
Now to speak of tough friendships!
The ones that take time every day. The ones that cause me to ask tough questions....or speak true answers. The ones that make me write notes to myself to remember to pray. The friendships that cause me to rearrange my daily plans in order to meet for lunch when I have so much I really need to do. The same friendships that come along when you are not really looking...when you think you have enough friends. The ones that you expect more from. You know the busyness of life can take over at times, but only for a day or two....then someone checks back in. Tough friendships are just that, tough...but so worth it. They give us the security that we need to be real and messy and still accepted.
It is not about proximity. Do not get me wrong. I have been known to be a proximal friend. I am friendly with the people I am around more often, yes, like women I work with or neighbors on my street. Most people will agree that it is easy to be friends with those we see more often....but both of these types of friendships ....easy and tough....speak to how we would befriend the same people if we no longer saw them as often.
Ecclesiastes 4 :9-10 states, "Two people are better off than one, because they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble."
Take inventory of your friendships, both easy and hard. Cultivate each, giving them the rightful place they deserve. Check in with those that need to know you are here for them even though you do not see them as much as you used to or wish you could. In the same way, be worthy of the high calling of being a tough friend to those who need you. Ask the hard questions, be vulnerable. If you have easy friendships that need to move to a "tougher" place, be open and ask for the accountability you need. Someone else may be needing the same thing from you.
I believe in friendships.