Friday, June 8, 2012

21 years is half my life!

And today that is how long I have been married!
Half My Life!
I recently heard about a famous actress who was discussing her recent separation. She said something about her belief in the idea of marriage for a lifetime... It seemed romantic and wonderful, but that was more the case when people didn't live to be 100.  It just isn't realistic to expect for people to be happy with the same person for that many years.

I agree, it isn't easy.
It isn't about making a commitment until you get tired of someone or decide someone else might be more fun. Is it about more than that. It is about realizing that forever could be a really long time and to make it that have to really want to ....and you've got to be on guard.

Too many people find their worth in their spouse. Too many people expect their spouse to make up for what they don't feel like dealing with on their own. Too many people blame their marriage or their spouse and fail to recognize the value and protection in the very idea of that commitment.
I know that there are things about me that are just my junk. I have a wonderful spouse who supports me and accepts me knowing that I can't be perfect enough on my own to make our marriage work. He realizes with me that we have to work together and give each other a break or a "do-over" as we call it...over and over again if necessary. He knows that I am "For Him!" and "Believe the best in him!"

Believe me when I say...I know there are times when marriages fail because of the choices of one partner that devastate the other. I am not speaking to that at all. I am more or less speaking to the fact that going into a marriage with the idea of "we will see how far this takes us" is not giving either one the chance to realize the full blessing of a secure commitment.

I have known my husband since I was 16 years old. We have literally grown up together. We have changed a ton since we were young as most people do. There have been times when life got ahead of us and we just kept moving forward. There have been times when we were so busy coming and going that we just maintained by momentum. There have been times when we were on Cloud Nine.... And everything in between. We share hopes and dreams. We have fun together. We meet for lunch. We play games. We talk on the phone and in the kitchen after work.We disipline our kids together. We talk about money and bills and what to do about "whatever". We make time for our friends and we get away together with our friends.
We believe in each other because we have a history together. We remember the times we did something stupid or acted a fool or pouted or whatever....and we remember that we made it though, the other one forgave ....and we will make again and again. We know we are always allowed a Do-Over! It is amazing~ the power that know someone treasures you enough to stick around!

I am happy to be celebrating today!
21 years of marriage to my best friend....still!
The same man I married half my life ago.

For the past few years, we have spent our anniversary night at a swim meet.
Tonight, there is no meet, the kids are sleeping over with friends...and we have real date planned.
Excited over here!


  1. Happy Anniversary, Jen! You two are an inspiration to couples everywhere! Congratulations on 21 years!


  2. Congratulations and Happy Anniversary. I always love to hear success stories like this. They're my favorite kind.

  3. Congratulations, Jen. June is the month, right? My 23rd is in two weeks.

    You summed this up really well, not making marriage full of sunshine and roses but work and love. That's real.

  4. What a great message and reminder on marriage this.
    Congratulations to you and your guys are a great team! Happy Anniversary!

  5. Hope you had a wonderful time. We are on our way to 20 and I just thank my lucky stars he ignores my "Junk" and focuses on the good stuff : )
    I happily return the favour!

  6. Happy anniversary... you wrote so much truth and honesty here! Congratulations on 21 years!

  7. Wow! Congrats to you both. Enjoy that date!

  8. Happy Anniversary. You and your husband are a beautiful couple, inside and out. I hope you had a wonderful anniversary celebration! Loved what you wrote here. Marriage is a lot of work, but if you work at it it's wonderful.