Sunday, December 16, 2012

Steady my heart.

Friday was one of those days.
A moment on Friday was one of those moments.
Not to be forgotten, just like the moment I heard of the space shuttle exploding, and the Twin Towers falling...forever remembering the exact spot where I was sitting, the radio announcer speaking, and the confusion and devastation I was feeling.
Friday,  I cried in the parking lot of Kohl's....and wondered how I was going to walk into the store to shop for Christmas presents for my children and loved ones.

As I struggle now with my own feelings of guilt, asking forgiveness for not trusting God, I realize that my problems that seemed overwhelming on Thursday are just ordinary woes...normal worries not even important enough to mention in the aftermath of such a tragedy.  My heart breaks. This is the place where I am helpless....and broken...and afraid. I want to shout my thankfulness to God for the safety of my children, but the truth is I can't. It seems unfair. I pray for those who lost their babies, spouses, mothers, siblings and friends.

God is tender and he knows my heart. He knows that I desire all of him. He knows that I want the joy that only he can give.  He knows that it is on these days, when things like this happen, that I realize how little control I have....and one of those children could have just as easily been mine.
He invites me to run to him... and to bring him my fears.
He wants to steady my heart.
I need him to do just that.
Steady My Heart 
by Kari Jobe

Even when it hurts
Even when it's hard
Even when it all just falls apart
I will run to You
Cause I know that You are
Lover of my soul
Healer of my scars
You steady my heart."
Blessings this week!


  1. So well said, Jen. I'm right there with you. Almost like survivor's guilt because my family is safe and pretty happy. I have to rely on my faith in God and that He is in charge and Jesus has those little children in His arms.

  2. It's crazy to me that you posted one of her songs... because as soon as I hear the news, I could not get her song, "come to me" out o my head. I have sang it over and over for 3 days straight.